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Amazing Possibilities!

  • Writer's pictureMatthew Kelly

The Secret to Great Relationships

A tree with strong roots can weather any storm. If you have not

done so already, the day to start growing those roots is today.

Gratitude, respect, and discipline are three powerful ways to

ground and nurture your relationships. But keep in mind also, that

trees sway in the wind. They are not rigid. Even the largest and

strongest trees sway when the wind blows. Allow for uncertainty;

you can be sure it will come. Find the lesson in the unexpected; it

has come to help you in your quest to become the-best-version-

of-yourself. Try to enjoy mystery; it will keep you young.

The present culture despises uncertainty, and so we waste endless

amounts of time and energy trying to create the illusion of security

and attempting to control the uncontrollable. We curse the

unexpected because it interferes with our plans, even though it

often carries with it the challenge we need at that moment to

change and to grow into a-better-version-of-ourselves. In the same

way, our culture has no time for mystery. If we cannot solve it or

prove it, then we ignore it or discredit it.

“Life is not a problem to be solved, it is a mystery to be lived,”

wrote Kierkegaard. Your spouse is not a problem to be solved, your

children are not problems to be solved, your boyfriend or girlfriend,

your partner or fiancé is not a problem to be solved. They

are mysteries to be accepted, encouraged, experienced, and enjoyed.

Relationships are not to be understood and fixed and solved;

they, too, are mysteries to be enjoyed.

The best participants in the mystery we call relationship seem

to be the people who don’t need to understand everything, the

ones who aren’t out to prove anything, those humble enough to accept

when they are wrong and hold their tongues when they are

right, the people who don’t have an agenda, who aren’t in a hurry,

and who don’t need the credit when things go right and don’t pass

the blame when things go wrong.

These are the rare souls who seem to be able to hold their arms

wide open and embrace fully the mystery of loving and the joy of

being loved.

Matthew Kelly

From The Seven Levels of Intimacy

Click Here to get your copy

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