Relationships only make sense in relation to the overall purpose
of your life. If we are unable to establish this essential
purpose for our lives, then we will find it very difficult to bring
focus to our relationships. But now that we have established our essential
purpose, it is much easier to understand the meaning and
purpose of our relationships. The purpose of relationships is for
you to help others become the-best-version-of-themselves, and for
others to help you become the-best-version-of-yourself. Every relationship,
however formal or casual, long lasting or fleeting, is an
opportunity for the people involved to further their essential purpose
by becoming the-best-version-of-themselves.
What makes a good relationship? A good relationship is one
where we are challenged and encouraged to become the-best-
version-of-ourselves, while we encourage and challenge others to
become all they are capable of being. What defines troubled relationships?
Troubled relationships are those that lead us away from
our essential purpose, those that encourage us to be lesser-versions-of-ourselves.
The full and dynamic experience of relationship is therefore
dependent on a clear understanding of our essential purpose.
So, where do we start?
There is a question that you have probably already started
grappling with, and whose answer may have set off some alarms for
you. That question concerns your primary relationship. It may be
with your husband or wife, your girlfriend or boyfriend, your partner,
your significant other, your fiancé... but the question remains
the same.
Is your primary relationship helping you to become the-best-version-
of-yourself?
Matthew Kelly
From The Seven Levels of Intimacy
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