Do you ever feel like you can’t figure yourself out? There is one question that will provide more insight into who you are, why you do the things you do, and how you participate in relationships than all the other questions put together.
This is the question: What did you have to do to receive love as a child?
Most people aren’t aware of it, but we all sign a love contract when we are young. For better or for worse, the people who raise us teach us about the giving and receiving of love. And most of us are still living according to that contract today.
Did you have to do as you were told? Did you have to accomplish things? Were you taught that loves involves a quid pro quo exchange, that it was transactional? Did you have to hide your true feelings and emotions? Did you have to keep your opinions to yourself? Or perhaps you were you loved simple for who you are?
Go deep into this question and you will discover yourself in ways that will astound you. It will reveal extraordinary insights into your relationships, past and present.
What did you have to do to receive love as a child? Whatever it was, you have probably kept doing it your whole life. And depending on how healthy or dysfunctional it is, it might be time to tear up that contract.
Matthew Kelly
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