The first step toward becoming perfectly yourself is acknowledging your imperfections. It may seem ironic, or even paradoxical, but life is often like that. Making peace with your imperfections is as much a part of being perfectly yourself as striving to improve the aspects of your character that have become distorted by experience or habit. It is essential for health of mind, body, and spirit that we recognize that what we often consider to be our imperfections are actually part of our perfection.
The challenge is to discern which of your imperfections are part of who you are when you are perfectly yourself and which are a distortion of your true self. A fine and often hazy line separates these two realities.
A woman with a bubbly personality should not abandon it simply because some people don’t like it. It is part of her best and truest self.
You may not be a details person. It’s not necessarily a defect. It may just be part of who you are. Everyone doesn’t have to be a details person. It doesn’t give you permission to be negligent about your commitments, and to some extent you can improve your ability to manage details, but you shouldn’t take a job that requires you to constantly manage details, and it would be wise to surround yourself with people who thrive on taking care of the details.
Similarly, your daughter may not excel in math. Her brain may simply be wired to excel in other areas. It is entirely possible that her best self is a poor mathematician. A certain level of practical knowledge in this area is necessary, but she need not be forced to master the upper reaches of mathematics.
On the other hand, if a man is rude and impatient, it is not because these are an expression of his best self; it is rather that they are an expression of behaviors that have been practiced. Personality tendencies and talents should be accepted, but character defects should always be challenged.
Consciously, subconsciously, semiconsciously, we are all preoccupied with this attempt to be more perfectly who we really are at the essence of our being. But think of it in this way: A tree does not try to make all of its branches straight. It is perfect in its imperfection, perfectly imperfect. And yet it does change and grow over time.
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Matthew Kelly
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